Zvoní telefon. "Halo?" - "Promiňte, to je omyl." - "Určitě?" - "A už jsem vám někdy lhal?"
_________________________________________________________________
"Co bys řekl, kdybys potkal ženu, která dokáže všecho odpustit, bude na tebe hodná, laskavá a bude umět výborně vařit?" - "Ahoj mami!"
_________________________________________________________________
Byl angličan,čech a rus ,a oni se vsadili kdo přejde řeku plnou krokodylu.Tak šel rusch zaspíval hymnu ,sežral ho krokodyl,pak šel anličan zaspíval hymnu sezral ho krokodyl a pak šel čech a a zpíval:kde domov muj, kde domov muj.....a krokodyl na to fuj bezdomovce nežeru.
_________________________________________________________________
Jsou dva havíři v dole a jeden druhému říká:"Ty seš dneska ňákej smutnej?"
"Jo protože jsem vyhrál zájezd do Anglie"povídá druhý.
"A proč jsi z toho smutnej?"ptá se první
"No protože neumim anglicky"¨
"Tak já ti poradim.Když budeš mluvit pomalu,budou ti všichni rozumět."
Havíř tedy odjede do Anglie a tam si sedne do jednoho baru a povídá barmanovi:"J-á j-s-e-m h-a-v-í-ř z O-s-t-r-a-v-y , a o-d-k-u-d j-s-i t-y?"a ten druhý povídá:" J-á j-s-e-m h-a-v-í-ř z K-a-r-v-i-n-é a p-r-o-č m-l-u-v-í-m-e a-n-g-l-i-c-k-y?
_________________________________________________________________
Jede chlápek v nadupaným subaru po dálnici a jen tak to šetří a jede jen 120 km/h. Najednou vedle něj trabant a jeho řidič křičí na toho chlábka: "Znáte trabanta?". Chlápek se udiví, a tak dupne na plyn a má tam 180 km/h. Trabanta na chvíli ztratí, ale za chvíli jede zase vedle a řidič zas: "Znáte trabanta?". Chlápek na to zase šlápne a dá tam 200 km/h. Trabant ho opět po chvíli dojede a zase křičí: "Znáte trabanta?". Ten chlápek se už naštve nasolí tomu na 260 km/h a trabantu ujede. Po pár kilometrech zastaví na benzínce a ten trabant tam přijede taky. Řidič vystoupí a ptá se: "Znáte trabanta?". A on: "Ano, proč?". "A kde má dvojku?".
_________________________________________________________________
Opékají si kanibalové nad ohněm cikána.Kolem jde polda a povídá:Proč s ním točíte tak rychle?Kuchař odpoví:"Když s ním točíme pomalu,tak nám krade bramdory.
_________________________________________________________________
Trosečník je už asi 30let na pustém ostrově,když mu jednou ráno moře vyplaví ženskou.Když se probere a pochopí situaci,řekne:To jsi rád,že budeš mít konečně to,co ti tak dlouho chybělo.Viďˇ?
Trosečník se vykulí: Cože ty máš sebou pivo ?
_________________________________________________________________
Ptá se muž Boha.
" Proč jsi udělal ženu tak hezkou? "
" Aby si jí miloval. " Odpoví Bůh
" A proč je teda tak hloupá? "
" Aby milovala tebe. "
_________________________________________________________________
Je blondýna a je na benzinové stanici a říká prodavači.
Pane já jsem si zabouchla dveře od auta!
A tak prodavač jí dá drátek a říká: Na otevřete si to drátkem.
A tak blondýna jde k autu a otvírá ho drátkem a kolem jde starý dědek a říká prodavači: Pane venku je blondýna a otvírá si drátkem auto!!! A prodavač říká.
Ten drátek jsem jí dal já! A dědek na to: No jo ale v tom autě sedí druhá blondýna a říká jí doprava,doprava.
_________________________________________________________________
Dovnitř to jde suché,
ven vlhké,
a dává hřejivé uspokojení?
Sáček od čaje.
_________________________________________________________________
Ptá se lord sluhy:
" Má citron zobáček? "
" Ne pane. "
" A nožičky? "
" Ne pane. "
" Tak to jsem si do čaje vymačkal kanára
_________________________________________________________________
Přijde Myšpulín do řeznictví a ptá se:,,Máte vepřové steaky???"
,,Ano,chceš???"
Myšpulin vytáhne brokovnici , zastřelí reznika a rekne :,,to mate za Bobíka _________________________________________________________________
Sedí holčička u potoka a pláče..Příjde k ní pán a zeptá se jí:
Pán:,,Proč pláčeš děvenko??'
Holčička:,,Protože,protože mi spadl chleba do vody'
Pán:,,A s čím ten chleba byl??'
Holčička:,,S maminkou'
_________________________________________________________________
tati můžu se dívat na televizi? můžeš ale zapínat ji nesmýš
_________________________________________________________________
Komentáře
Přehled komentářů
Hello I am so delighted I found your webpage, I really found you by mistake, while I was researching on Bing for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a tremendous post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the superb jo. tastyandinteresting.be/relaxation/miljoe-och-haelsovrdsnaemnden.php trГ¤ning fГ¶r hallux valgus
scandinavian logistics partners ab tastyandinteresting.be
(tastyandinteresting.be, 13. 5. 2020 13:35)
What i do not realize is if truth be told how you are not actually much more smartly-liked than you may be now. You're very intelligent. You know thus significantly on the subject of this topic, made me individually consider it from so many numerous angles. Its like women and men don't seem to be interested except it is one thing to do with Woman gaga! Your own stuffs excellent. All the time deal with it up! tastyandinteresting.be/for-men/beste-cellulitis-creme.php scandinavian logistics partners ab
mauvaise haleine solution miracle aretenb.se
(aretenb.se, 13. 5. 2020 9:50)
Whoa! This blog looks just like my old one! It's on a totally different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Great choice of colors! lyacha.aretenb.se/trends/mauvaise-haleine-solution-miracle.php mauvaise haleine solution miracle
bmw 1 serie styling aresgrb.se
(aresgrb.se, 13. 5. 2020 9:28)
If you want to obtain a great deal from this post then you have to apply these strategies to your won weblog. whirs.aresgrb.se/relaxation/bmw-1-serie-styling.php bmw 1 serie styling
vad Г¤r ej avdragsgilla kostnader tastyandinteresting.be
(tastyandinteresting.be, 13. 5. 2020 3:40)
Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you're using? I'm going to start my own blog in the near future but I'm having a difficult time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I'm looking for something completely unique. P.S Sorry for getting off-topic but I had to ask! tastyandinteresting.be/for-men/tabletter-som-minskar-mens.php vad Г¤r ej avdragsgilla kostnader
ganglion aisselle droite femme aretenb.se
(aretenb.se, 13. 5. 2020 0:08)
Really no matter if someone doesn't be aware of afterward its up to other visitors that they will help, so here it happens. singb.aretenb.se/news/ganglion-aisselle-droite-femme.php ganglion aisselle droite femme
garage till robotgräsklippare husqvarna tastyandinteresting.be
(tastyandinteresting.be, 12. 5. 2020 17:45)
I read this article fully on the topic of the resemblance of most up-to-date and previous technologies, it's amazing article. tastyandinteresting.be/beauty/so-couture-mascara.php garage till robotgräsklippare husqvarna
biotherm eau pure shower gel aretenb.se
(aretenb.se, 12. 5. 2020 13:28)
Excellent post. I used to be checking continuously this blog and I am inspired! Very useful information specially the remaining part :) I deal with such information much. I was looking for this certain information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck. downf.aretenb.se/music/biotherm-eau-pure-shower-gel.php biotherm eau pure shower gel
9A|d5XqKlURZpn3LnQRxkEcj7a$HyFZvp Helloy world!
(WilliamSnils, 11. 5. 2020 23:11)Hello world
chaga te bra fГ¶r tastyandinteresting.be
(tastyandinteresting.be, 11. 5. 2020 22:38)
I am really grateful to the holder of this web page who has shared this wonderful paragraph at here. tastyandinteresting.be/beauty/cc-it-cosmetics-sephora.php chaga te bra fГ¶r
tapetsera pa putsad vagg aretenb.se
(aretenb.se, 11. 5. 2020 16:02)
Very shortly this website will be famous among all blogging and site-building people, due to it's nice articles or reviews ceipo.aretenb.se/travels/tapetsera-p-putsad-vaegg.php tapetsera pa putsad vagg
bГ¶rja Г¤ta mat bebis tastyandinteresting.be
(tastyandinteresting.be, 11. 5. 2020 13:27)
Wonderful article! This is the kind of information that are supposed to be shared across the internet. Shame on Google for no longer positioning this submit upper! Come on over and visit my site . Thank you =) tastyandinteresting.be/decorations/gratis-tandvrd-till-vilken-lder.php bГ¶rja Г¤ta mat bebis
Хиты этого года
(TimothyDiepe, 11. 5. 2020 9:59)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CljKrycZOqY
https://bit.ly/2A6ODlx
(Vincentarins, 11. 5. 2020 9:59)skerjhfbne4h5yut8fiejh4y5uriejh4yur https://bit.ly/2A6ODlx
anatomiskt hjärta silver tastyandinteresting.be
(tastyandinteresting.be, 11. 5. 2020 5:06)
My developer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he's tryiong none the less. I've been using Movable-type on a variety of websites for about a year and am worried about switching to another platform. I have heard good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated! tastyandinteresting.be/travels/kille-soeker-par.php anatomiskt hjärta silver
pernille hojmark rynker aretenb.se
(aretenb.se, 11. 5. 2020 3:51)
I'm amazed, I have to admit. Seldom do I encounter a blog that's both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you've hit the nail on the head. The problem is something which too few men and women are speaking intelligently about. Now i'm very happy I stumbled across this in my search for something concerning this. pfero.aretenb.se/for-women/pernille-hjmark-rynker.php pernille hojmark rynker
jul 2016 inredning aresgrb.se
(aresgrb.se, 11. 5. 2020 2:26)
After going over a number of the articles on your website, I honestly appreciate your technique of blogging. I added it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back soon. Please visit my web site too and let me know what you think. onbu.aresgrb.se/advice-girlfriends/jul-2016-inredning.php jul 2016 inredning
bryggeriet gymnasium malmГ¶ tastyandinteresting.be
(tastyandinteresting.be, 10. 5. 2020 19:44)
Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Very useful info particularly the last part :) I care for such information a lot. I was looking for this particular info for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck. tastyandinteresting.be/beautiful-things/spider-veins-on-cheeks.php bryggeriet gymnasium malmГ¶
New 2020 The best Deal On MONEY
(Tyreeheazy, 10. 5. 2020 16:09)
https://www.hackathon.com/event/free-fortnite-skins-free-fortnite-skins-generator-5eb1b97419186d001b49a887
https://www.hackathon.com/event/fortnite-free-skins-free-fortnite-skins-generator-no-human-verification-5eb2fb7719c935001bdd8d8e
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44
träning för hallux valgus tastyandinteresting.be
(tastyandinteresting.be, 14. 5. 2020 3:00)